Mr. Creepy: The $463.17 Solution

(click on Creepy)

Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties. —CharlesHaddon Spurgeon

The car that I live in, the Chevy Lumina, lost it’s brakes. Gone. Nothing. I’m broke and I make my living driving call girls to their appointments. Now I have no way to get the $463.17 the mechanic said it would take to fix it. If I could drive the car, I could make the money to fix it. What to do. What to do.

This is how I solved my $463.17 dilemma: I found another homeless man, a semi-gay, middleaged, wannabee actor from New Jersey, who had a Chevron card, no cash, and a desperate need to stop sleeping in his car and I cut him a deal. In return for him paying my brake repair on his gas card, I would let him sleep with me (no sex) in whatever seedy motel dump I could find for 35 days AND I would get him a job.

His name is James, also, and now he’s a driver for PCE. He’s driven Jade on two
calls now.

After my car was fixed, I was able to make just enough cash to get us a room at The Patio in Gardena. Thank God the beds are big. It’s pretty damned creepy sleeping with this guy. To his credit, Jimbo doesn’t know he’s gay. Whew!!! Unfortunately, he presents a pretty creepy presence and now the phone dispatchers at the PCE escort agency think I’m gay (Jimbo told them he was sleeping with me at The Patio).

I was able to negotiate a deal with The Patio Inn manager yesterday. Normally, a room is $35 a day for one person, but since I look like a cop, I have a calming effect on the other Patio guests. In return for fighting crime at The Patio with my presence, I got a room for two for $27 a day and the manager says he might even have a room with two beds for the same price tomorrow or the day after!

Thing is, Jimbo creeps people out. Jade will let him drive her to calls, but she won’t let him drive her home at the end of the shift like I used to. She doesn’t want him to know where she lives. The phone dispatchers want to know if he’s retarded or drunk or both. I gotta keep Jimbo away from the Patio manager or my deal will sink. He creeps
everybody. Me, too.

So, you think your life sucks? My brakes go out and I end up sleeping with Mr. Creepy.

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