Love In The Red Hot Fritos Isle

Tags: Red Hot Fritos, yearning, gas station, Arco, Arcology, viral video, jarvis, hot chick, sexy, pizzle, mentulate, merkin, keck, gardyloo, wishing
It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger for them.—George Eliot
    It [...]

Mystery of the Vanishing Vasquez

Tags: The Icehouse Psycho, mystery, missing woman, Arco, Arcology, viral video, gas station, mystery purse, ghetto tales
To forget oneself is to be happy.—Robert Louis Stevenson
ARCONIAN NEWS BRIEF
Mystery of the Vanishing Vasquez . . .
Icehouse Psycho Implicated
    Part of my stocker duties is to empty out the five trash barrels by the pumps and put new [...]

Arconia Summarized

Tags: Ironweed, White Rhino, The Bookend Arabs, The Giggler, The Homeless Peruvian Bigamist, The Tattooed Momasita, viral video, marquisdejolie
The most powerful factors in the world are clear ideas in the minds of energetic men.—Sir John A. Thomson
    One of my friends wrote about my Arco employment:
    “Better to be a big fish in a small [...]

I Am The Anti-Wino

Tags: wino, anti-wino, Arco, Arcology, quality of life, graphics, gas station
If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
    [...]

Life ain’t all that bad at the Arco

Tags: Voltaire, Kamel The Sex Fiend, Serj, Eddie The Adulterer, Alah, Ben Hur, boobs, gas station, viral video, stability, Arco, Arcology
The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater their power to harm us.—Voltaire
    Just looked at the work schedule (something I rarely do as I consider the work schedule that the manager makes for [...]

Time to work up an interest in avarice and covetousness.

Tags: Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, Sloth, viral video, jarvis, zefrank, bedlam, nalts, marquisdejolie, Ironweed, White Rhino, Crusty The Stockboy, Cabbage Patch
Be a friend to thyself, and others will be so, too.—Thomas Fuller
    My crack motel room roommate Creepy went to bed with all the lights on in his room. Apparently he’s afraid the [...]

Attack of the Loitering Stumblebums

Tags: Arco winos, stumblebums, fight club, gas station, Boxer Bob, Crusty The Stockboy, White Rhino
The confidence which we have in ourselves gives birth to much of that which we have in others.—Francois de La Rochefoucauld
    Three of the Arco winos attacked me behind the Arco today. One of them tried to bust a 32-ounce beer [...]

ARCONIAN NEWS BREAK: Night Man Day Locked Down

Tags: nuthouse, Night Man Day, Arco, gas station, Cocopuffs, Lynnie The Leacher, Marquisdejolie
It is easy enough to be pleasant when life flows by like a song. But the man worthwhile is one who will smile when everything goes dead wrong.—Ella Wheeler Wilcox
    The Arco night man, Day, has gone cuckoo for Cocopuffs. Pissed me off [...]

The Flatulent Chinaman

 Tags: fartiste, flatulent, gasaholics, rummies, rugrats, pocket pirates, roadies, gas swine
   Eight hours in Arconia today. It was the usual steady stream of gasaholics, rude drug addicts, unintelligible rummies, rugrats, pocket pirates, disgruntled roadies, road warriors, senile old ladies, abusive twits and impatient gas swine, but my work day was pleasantly punctuated by The Flatulent [...]

Even The Homeless Hate the Homeless

Tags: homeless, homelessness, self hate, Creepy, roommate, working homeless, homeless on wheels
It is a wise bum who knows his own kind.—Mudhead
    One of my fellow Arconians, Eddie, is homeless. He lives in his car. He admits to living in his car, but denies he’s homeless.
    Living in a car two months qualifies a person as [...]